The most happiest guy in the world

I tend to put up a smile a lot and I try to as well. I get drained easily from being happy and trying to be friendly when deep down, I am falling apart. I'm falling apart emotionally and physically. I never thought as myself as a strong person - I'm always weak. When I was a kid, everyone made fun of me for being a huge cry baby and not to mention, they made fun of me because of my weight at that time and that I had to retrieve counselling for my emotional break downs. Once I got older, everyone stopped making fun of my weight and got to know me a little better. I guess I was happy but I just know that some of them think of me badly. In school, I'm notoriously known as the 'guy-who-appears-out-of-nowhere' in school, because the people that know me tend to see me everywhere and they think I just appear out of thin air. I would probably disagree but then again they could be right, I do appear out of nowhere... my school is pretty cramped and small anyway so I don't really blame them. I know this girl in my school and when I set my eyes on her, I thought she was the most sweetest thing that I ever come across and the two of us went out. Life was good at that time, I had a sweet girlfriend who'd be by my side, rest on my shoulder and just be so damn adorable. But then, she changed after some time. It turns out, she doesn't really like me anyway - nor love me and thought I was a freak or an annoying creep. Either way she calls me both. She left me but I tried settling things with her but she refuses and just attacks me with her words 'I don't like you', 'you're an annoying creep, I see you everywhere', 'mind your own fucking business' and 'Go away, ignore me.'. They hurt me internally and I wanted to talk back but I can't, I have a soft spot for her and she knows that too so she takes an advantage of that. Because of what happened, I feel weak again, sad, upset, my heart filled with despair. I'm sleep deprived afterwards because of her. I mean I do love her but I love the 'old' her, the new one is just terrifying and cold... I'm afraid of her now.

And then there was this girl that I met, her name was Sarah and she was one of the most friendliest person that I have ever met in my life. I was sitting by myself one day thinking about my ex-girlfriend and she stood in front of me, smiling at me. "What are you doing?" she asked nicely. "Thinking.." I replied.
     "About what?"
     "..Personal stuff." She went quiet after I said that and asked in a soft tone.
     "Do you want to talk about it? Its fine if you don't want to." she said calmly. I didn't want to tell her because it'd be weird to talk about your personal problems to someone you just met, but I told her anyway.
     "Have you ever felt that someone that you really cared about hid a secret behind you and you found out that secret was this devastating truth?" I asked. She took a moment to think and finally replied 'yes'.
     "Why?" she asked.
     "Because I found out that someone I really cared about... someone who I used to go out with.. doesn't actually like me."
     "I'm sorry,"
     "No, don't be. It's okay anyway.But the trouble is that she made me believe that she actually cared about me." I said to her. Sarah stayed quiet for sometime and I avoid contact from her as I stared at my hands. "And now I'm telling you all this... to someone who I just met not long ago... I may look happy-go lucky but I'm not. I don't really talk much to people in school. I'm an emotional wreck." I said to myself.
     "Hey, if you have a big problem you can't just keep it to yourself," Sarah says and I saw her sat next down to me. "You gotta tell someone if you have a big problem."
     "I know. Its just that I'm so stupid.. I get attached easily to people and then they just leave me. I'm one of those boyfriends who would do anything for their girl - carry their bag or books, write silly notes and pass it on to them to show that I care about her. To show that I love her.. but now," I scratched the back of my head as I continued to stare down at the floor. "She liked my best friend more than me. But he knows about me and her so..." my voice trailed off and just stared into space but I could feel Sarah's eyes staring at me. She hasn't said much word after I told her my problems. She's probably thinking that I'm some sad, weak cry baby and I'm already a grown teenager dammit.
     "I want to cheer you up somehow," she started. "I'm not sure how..."
     "Well good luck with that, I'm the kind of person who's hard to stay happy for a long time." I said to her. Sarah snapped her fingers and a smile grew on her face. "I know! I'll just tell you some lame jokes and funny stories!" she said. I looked at her and gave her nervous smile, dubious about the fact that someone whom I just met will try to cheer me up anyway. But she tried. She continued to try and cheer me up by telling jokes about this and that - unfortunately for her, I already know the jokes so I just gave her a small smile and looked away. She continued to try again by telling me funny stories about her experiences in her life. I only smiled but that wasn't enough to cheer me up. In the end, she gave up but told me that she will try again the next day and the next day, and the day after.

So she would visit me and would sit next down to me as she tries to cheer me up everyday. She was so determined and motivated to help a guy like me smile or laugh maybe. There is this one joke that made me smiled for real but she thinks that wasn't enough to make me happy, so she declared that her goal was to make me laugh. Sadly she failed and every joke and story she told didn't made me laugh - it made me smile a little but she didn't accept it and she said the same thing to me again 'I will make you laugh! You'll see, I'm not giving up just yet!' and left. Everyday, she comes to sit next to me and cheer me up, Sarah did gave me some motivational speeches to keep me happy other than telling me jokes and stories. Day by day, weeks by weeks and month by month, she comes to see me and cheer me up no matter what and gradually, I become a bit more happy. Just seeing her sitting next to me and cheers me up makes me feel better and happy until one day, as we were sitting on a bench eating some ice cream, she asked me "Will you be sad if I were to die in the next couple of weeks or days?" I stopped eating my ice cream and looked at her, she continued to eat her ice cream leisurely. "Of course I will, why do you ask?"
     "No reason, I know I'd be sad if you died but I'll be happy as well." she said.
     "Why would you be happy when I die?" I asked her.
     "Because I'll be thinking of the good times we spent together and just smile at the fact that we have fun together." she says. I was confused at her answer, why would anyone be happy about someone's death? "I wanna tell you that when I die one day, I don't want you to be sad, I want you to be happy and just remember the good times okay? I know it sounds weird and insensitive but not all deaths have to be sad, you know. So whenever you think of me, make sure you smile or laugh, okay?" she said. "Happiness is the key to living a good life. So I want you to be happy whenever." I thought about what she said and was still bewildered at her statement, although she was correct about living a good life with happiness.

After a week, I sat at my usual place, hoping to see her again and tell me some jokes and stories again so I waited. I waited and waited for some time and I checked my watch to see that 3 hours have passed. I was wondering if something made her late so I thought I should call her number. No answer. I tried again. No answer. And again. Still no answer. I got a little worried so I called her house number afterwards, hoping one of her parents would pick up. As I was about to hang up, someone finally answered. "Hello?" I said. I hear someone crying. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I said.
     "Hello?" Someone replied - must be Sarah's mother.
     "Is this Sarah's mother-"
     "I'm sorry, I can't call right now.. I just.."
     "What's wrong? Where's Sara-" the call ended. I stared at my phone with wide eyes as I dialed the same number again and waited for someone to pick up. "Hello?" a man answered - must be Sarah's father. "Hello? Who is this?" he asked.
     "Hello sir, I'm a friend of Sarah's. Is Sarah home?" I could hear someone crying from the background. "Is everything okay there?" her father went quiet and sighed. "Sir?"
     "Did Sarah tell you?" he asked me.
     "Tell me what?"
     "..That she... she's been in chemotherapy for 3 years?" I felt my heart stopped pumping as I heard him say that. "W-what..?" my voice was quiet and I don't think her father heard what I said but he continued to explain on the phone. "She's been in chemotherapy for 3 years.. but she's been skipping treatments for 2 months. Right now.. she's going through surgery at the moment and.." his voice started to sound hoarse. "And we will let you know what happens afterwards, I'm sorry." before I could say anything else he hung up the call. I slowly pulled my phone away from my ear as I stared into space and thought about Sarah for a moment. A girl that I just met name Sarah, has been in chemotherapy for 3 years yet instead of going to therapy, she'd skip it just to see me and help me for 2 months. And now.. she's going through surgical procedures because of that...

That idiot. She's been in pain for 3 years and she worries about me instead of herself, what kind of idiot would do that?

Days passed and sadly Sarah passed away. Her parents were kind enough to invite me to her funeral but I refused since I know I'll break down just seeing her coffin being brought down into the grave, so instead they gave me a gift from her and I unwrapped it and saw it was a box. I opened the box and saw little drawings of me and her, a list of jokes that she could tell me, a list of puns, a list of stories that she should mention. Images of her and I together where she smiles the most in the picture and I'm there with a plain face. After looking through all this stuff, it made me happy a little bit and I did laugh at some of the jokes she listed, once I rummaged through the notes, lists and pictures in the box I found a small green note where it says in her hand writing "Did you laugh? Did you smile? Did I made you happy?" It brought me into tears but tears of joy.

Yes Sarah, I did laugh.
I did smile and yes, you made me happy.
You made me the most happiest guy in the world.
Thank you.